Content

A change to come?

2009-05-25T04:18:00.000-07:00

It kind of hits you when you least expect it. You wake up one morning and something just isn’t right. It doesn’t matter whether you have children and a spouse, or if you’re single. Makes no odds if you’re young or old either.

Nothing on Earth matters when you get that feeling.

You don’t know what you are doing. You don’t know why you get dressed, walk or drive to work. You really cannot understand why you do what you do all day. And it’s starting to hurt, like deafening static in your head.

Then you get home. You make some dinner. Then you watch some television. Maybe you go to the gym or indulge in some other physical activity that you have been told is good for you.
And then you lie down in your bed.

Maybe a clock ticks. Maybe you just lie there, in the dark, in silence. The day is done. At the weekend you plan to indulge in a hobby, or maybe in some stimulant and/or depressive substances.

By the time Sunday comes around you’re on the run. Sunday night? Well, Sunday night brings mild to moderate depression.

And then your week starts again.

Welcome to life.

You had a glimpse of another life during your childhood. Maybe it was a movie that you saw, with a lifestyle on screen that was attractive. Your teachers told you otherwise. Maybe your parents did. They only wanted the best for you. The best job. The best chance in life.
But now you think about your life and you want to cry.

It’s desperation. All you are doing is chasing money. In fact, everything you do is about money. You wake up to make it and go to sleep worrying about it. And you spend it so that you can forget about it.

Surely there is more out there?

Time Management Tips - 3 simple rules.

2009-04-13T06:51:00.000-07:00

Time management is a key skill. Take a look at anyone who has made a success of themselves in almost any endeavour, and you will note that they have mastered the area of time skills; they are in control of their time.

However, time management is also a skill that many people find it difficult to master. If you are in any doubt about this, just think of all those people that are late for meetings, or hand in reports late. Just think about all of those people who are stressed that you know, the ones who are running around at work complaining about there never being ‘enough hours in the day’.

Well, it’s true. There aren’t enough hours in the day. In fact, we spend pretty much half the day sleeping. And then we are effectively directed by modern society to fill the rest of the day with a fantastic amount of tasks and duties. And alongside all of these tasks, we also have to fit in some time for our loved ones, as well as relaxation.

So how do we manage our work time effectively? How could we build our time skills? Well, we could buy one of those fancy PDAs, or we could buy a nice looking desk diary.
Or we could just get real.

You see, time management comes down to a very simple thing: prioritising. All the best time management aids out there can’t help you with this. The principle is very simple and it takes no time at all to master.

All you have to do to practise effective time management in your job is to remember that you should only ever focus on three big things in one day. That’s three things, no more. So all of the big tasks that you are given to do, or all of the big projects that you take on, make sure you only focus on three of them per day.

Why just three? Well, anything more would just complicate your day. And when you think about it, three big things to focus on in one day is quite a lot.

However, the trick with time skills like this one is to keep the focus. If you allow your brain to be distracted by anything other than those three things (barring emergencies, obviously), you will achieve nothing.

Follow this time management principle and you will find that your day becomes incredibly focused. You will not be distracted; will achieve things every day without question. And perhaps most importantly you will not be stressed due to the mistaken belief that you have to do everything that lands on your desk.

I'm back

2009-04-07T22:37:00.000-07:00

Okay, it's been a while.

I've been away, but I am back. See you soon...

Why Having Values Is Important

2009-03-16T23:28:00.000-07:00

Values matter because we will not be on this planet for an infinite number of years. Human beings live and die, just like any other animal on the planet, and if we do not have a consistent set of values to guide our life, then we will just drift.

Every day time slips away, and once a day is done, it is gone forever. So having values shapes our lives, otherwise we are just waiting to die. But how do we know what values are best for us?
Well, some of us like to be in good physical condition. That is a common value set for many people. Others like to make a certain income. And some people like to help the people around them be the best that they can be.

It is having this richness of experience that values bring, this ‘tailor made’ aspect to our life, which makes the whole value defining process so vital to our self development. Of course, you could live without values, but it is arguable that anyone who does is essentially living a shapeless, aimless life.

If time is limited, and days, once experienced, are lost, then how we use that time is also under threat if values are not clear. If we do not know ‘how we live our life’, the practises we follow and the principles we hold, then all we can ever be is distracted. Our lives will become disorganised and cluttered. We will put on weight, be subject to illness, and so on.

All this is great news for those who are trying to live a life that is more aware, but what happens when we look carefully at our lives and realise that we have many values, many areas in which we need to develop?

It is common for people to feel overwhelmed. They have to understand and follow value sets attached to their health, their finances, their relationships, the list can be huge. And because they know that a life without values is meaningless, they begin to panic, become disillusioned, and feel that the job of fostering values is ‘impossible’. There is so much to take care of, it seems daunting.

Remember that values are about interacting with life. While you may want to be financially abundant, your value in this area may require you to be patient, while the resources the world offers you come into alignment. Similarly, valuing peak physical fitness requires work and commitment.

Having values is important because otherwise you are literally unguided, and could spend your life achieving nothing, experiencing nothing unique, and, ultimately, just waiting to die.

Sticking to your goals

2009-03-16T13:43:00.000-07:00

In my Taekwondo class there is a big sign at the front of the room that says ‘This is a Black Belt Class’. The first time I entered the room for my introductory class, that sign scared the hell out of me. There I was, in my crisp white uniform, trying to look good, and all I could see were those words up there, intimidating me.

It was not until a few months later that I realised they were there to dare me, to inspire me.

Martial arts is all about goal-setting, and the single-mindedness it takes to reach a goal.
Once I started setting targets for myself in Taekwondo, the way to meet those targets became immediately clear. Just keep going. The discipline requires you to practise regularly, to not waver, and to keep going until you have reached your goal.

And I can say now, with pride, that I am a black belt in Taekwondo. Furthermore, I can also say that I have fallen over a thousand times, I have hurt parts of my body I didn’t even know existed, and I can’t even count the number of times I have wanted to miss a class due to fatigue or lack of motivation.

But I am still a black belt. And that is entirely down to persistence and commitment. No human body is naturally predisposed to Taekwondo, and it requires training. When I started I was definitely not predisposed to it. However, my teacher kept pushing me, kept reminding me of my goals, and would not let me be negative. I would become a black belt, I would.

In fact anyone can become a black belt in a martial art; the only differing factor is time. If you are committed to it, then you will reach that goal, in other words.

This has a lot to do with other goals in your life. I have recently started introducing some light exercise into my early morning routine. Fifty sit ups. The way I did this was I signed up to something called Life Tango, and used their goal setting software to set myself a goal of doing fifty sit ups, every day, within a month.

I started at thirty, worked up to thirty five, and then forty. And at one point I checked in on Life Tango and realised that I had been regularly exercising every day for two weeks. Just like that.

It was on that day that I did my first set of fifty. Now, I can happily report that I have recorded on Life Tango the completion of that goal.

So what’s my point? Well, as it was with Taekwondo and the sit ups, virtually any goal you want to set can be reached. When I saw that I had completed on the sit ups, I was quite taken aback. This is because prior to the goal setting that led to the goal completion, I had made excuses. All I had done when it came to that kind of exercise is make excuses about time, about energy, and about skill. I hadn’t got down and just done some sit ups!

Goal setting and goal achievement are all about saying you will do something, working out a simple plan, and then sticking to it. If the plan has to change a little, change it. It is still a plan for a goal that you have expressed a desire to meet.

And the confidence that I have achieved after doing those fifty sit ups, and making that black belt, propels me to new goals, new achievements. I now need new challenges.

And every time I set a challenge, that little voice that says it can’t be done is a little quieter. This is because I have the knowledge that comes with knowing that if I set a goal I can reach it.
In fact, when you think about it, any goal can be reached, as long as you put the work in. My taekwondo teacher made this abundantly clear, when he was asked, one lesson, to answer the question ‘what is a black belt’.

All he said was, ‘a black belt is the person in the room who has fallen flat on their face the most times.’

If you ever wanted a definition of goal commitment, that’s it right there.

How To Get A Flat Stomach

2009-03-10T09:09:00.000-07:00

It is a dream, at least for most of us, to get a flat stomach, with abdominal muscles that are attractive. However, this dream can turn into a reality if we practise some commitment and some self-discipline. The basic areas in which a flat stomach can be facilitated are those of diet and exercise. Once we have these two areas mastered, the desired effect will arrive soon enough.

Exercise
Firstly, whatever you do, pay no attention to those fitness gurus who say you must do sit-ups and crunches to gain a flat stomach. This is not good advice. These exercises in particular take up a large amount of your time, and will do nothing for your stomach. They are actually very low in intensity, and therefore do not bring the kind of drastic results that we are looking for.

And while we are on the subject of exercise, maintain a regime where cardiovascular activity is prominent, but not too prominent. This means not doing cardiovascular every day of the week, but instead at regular intervals. Space out your cardiovascular training and you will feel the benefits a lot quicker than if you just do cardiovascular every day for long periods of time.
Don’t invest in huge and expensive workout machines. Instead, buy some free weights, not necessarily huge ones, just weights that you can carry in your hand to add that little bit extra intensity to what you are doing.

Lastly, as regards exercise, focus on full body workouts rather than targeted parts of your body. The overall level of fitness this brings to your body is much more effective than the effects of targeted work.

Nutrition
Avoid carbohydrate foods that are not complex. This means avoiding the white bread for a start. Always go for grain bread if bread is a part of your diet. And when it comes to rice and pasta, contrary to popular belief, they are not good if they’re white. Go for whole-wheat every time. The white stuff just goes straight to your stomach.

When you feel the need for a soft drink, abstain. Sugary drinks are one of the main contributors to all that fat around your tummy. Instead, go for water every time for refreshment.
Lastly, whatever you do, stop eating the fried food. Anything that falls into that camp just becomes a big layer of fat around your stomach. Make a pact with yourself to eat healthily. Anything fried is just going to do major damage to your looks.

A few tips, then, on how to gain a flat stomach. Good exercise for the whole body, at regular intervals, and sensible eating, should soon see you on the way towards those magical abs.

Black Card Circle

2009-03-09T14:52:00.000-07:00

Hi everyone,

follow this link for an interview with the founder of BCC, an organisation that has some great ideas...

http://zi.ma/af9ece

Law of Attraction - 5 strategies that will bring more luck into your life.

2009-03-09T14:24:00.000-07:00

When we talk about bad luck, we are thinking about unfortunate events that are seemingly out of our control. From losing out in a talent show to not winning on the lottery, luck seemingly, ‘plays its part’, and prevents us from achieving the result we want.

When it comes to good luck, this may seem a rarer phenomenon. However, when we do experience good luck, we are happy to call it just that, and accept it with good grace.
It is possible to actually determine how much good luck you get in your life. This article outlines five strategies that push you closer to situations and events that are fortunate or that contain ‘good luck’. Follow each strategy, and you will see a positive impact in your life.

1. Pay Attention.

This strategy asks that you are mindful of everything that goes on around you. This will ensure that all of those opportunities that are out there that people call ‘good luck’ are picked up and acted upon by you. So if you overhear someone talking about a promotion that is imminent, get to work on your preparation for it immediately. Or if you hear that there is a company out there that you have stocks in, and their profits fell last quarter, think about jumping ship. Observation is key, and missing out on the signs can lead to ‘bad luck’.

2. Use Your Intuition.

Studies show that those who listen to their instinct have better luck than others. Follow your instincts in all things, nine times out of ten it is an inner voice speaking to you, one that has absorbed information for making decisions. If something feels right, do it. If it doesn’t, don’t.

3. Expect It.

Expect good luck and it shall come. Linked to the Law of Attraction, this principle states that if you expect things to turn out right, they often will, or you at least will be able to see opportunities that you can act upon to make good luck come your way. Do not focus on the negative, and you can expect to have good luck.

4. Add Spice.

Inject some variety into your life. The more you open up to new experiences, the more you will be exposed to situations that will bring you good results, or people that will do the same. These are never chance meetings or events. If you choose to add variety to your life, you will encounter new experiences, many of them positive.

5. Look on the Bright Side

A crucial element this. If anything comes your way that seems like bad luck, look on the bright side of the situation. While this is not always possible in all situations, it is for many. The more you do this, the more your mind will bring opportunities to you that you can convert into ‘good luck’.

The idea is to open yourself to new opportunities, and recognise these opportunities. And this involves following steps like those outlined above. Open your mind and be aware, and then you will find yourself experiencing more of what people call ‘good luck’

Organising your Vision...

2009-03-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

And here is another link to a great blog, this post in particular being an inspiring one...

http://www.successdemandsaction.com/2009/03/create-vision-binder.html?showComment=1236548880000#c4823535290945713105

Build this one into your life.

How to find your life's purpose.

2009-03-08T14:36:00.000-07:00

Dear all,

Really great link here to some info on a challenge that we all face...

http://www.lifeoptimizer.org/2008/09/10/finding-your-life-purpose/

Check it out, and let me know what you think.

How to Manage Your Emotions - Being Grateful.

2009-03-07T21:50:00.000-08:00

In my last post we looked at the first step in helping you to manage your emotions, which involved recognising what the emotion was.

Managing your emotions then involves being grateful. Every time you recognise that you are feeling an emotion, happy or sad, pleased or disappointed, condition yourself to feel grateful.

Emotions are signs on the roadmap to fulfillment. They help us understand ourselves better, each one we feel helps us to understand who we are and how to make our lives even more amazing.

For example, if we feel overwhelmed by work, this emotion is giving us a sign. It is telling us that we have to change the way we work (so that we feel less overwhelmed), or to change the way we look at work (so that we recognise it's benefits, or see it for what it is, just work, nothing more).

You see, it is all about process and perception.

Being grateful for an emotion, any emotion, means recognising that the emotion is a sign telling us that we have to change either a process or a perception.

So someone makes us angry (or just annoyed, if you remember last post!). At the being grateful stage of managing our emotion we realise that we have a sign here. This sign is telling us to change either our process or our perception.

Therefore, we either change our process, and kick in some calming techniques like deep breathing or visualisation...

Or we change our perception, which involves realising that the person probably doesn't mean it, or that we are annoyed at something that is really quite small in the grand scheme of things etc.

Either way, if we pursue these changes with energy and faith, we will feel better.

Which is why we should be grateful for emotions, because of the positive effect they can bring. They are signs that tell us to change our lives.

This post is becoming long, so let's recap. The second stage in managing your emotions is to be grateful, because emotions help us to manage and adapt our lives, realign, if you will.

So show some gratitude, and read the signs that emotions give you.

How to manage your emotions- the first step...

2009-03-04T22:27:00.000-08:00

The first step in understanding and managing your emotions comes with recognising exactly which emotion you are feeling.

We pretty much spend most of our day being assailed by emotions. We are never really sure of the nature of what we are feeling. Instead, we are just carried along by lots of 'feelings', the nature of which we never really take time to consider.

But if we don't think about what is happening to us, we are pretty much nothing more than animals. You see, being human means we can reflect, we can think...

So that rage you feel when a car cuts you up, is that really anger? Or is it just a spike in the day, an annoyance?

And when you feel embarrassed as you stand up to give a speech to colleagues, is that really embarrassment? Or is it just a little self awareness, something that does nothing more than make us feel a little uncomfortable?

Basically, the first step to dealing with your emotions is recognising what they truly are. Most of the time they are a lot less major than we think they are.

And now that you are thinking about your emotions, rather than just suffering them, let's start talking about dealing with them.

In the next post.

More on fear...

2009-03-03T21:40:00.000-08:00

So anyway, yesterday I lost out on a deal worth thousands of dollars.

Only telling you this because the second emotion I felt was fear. The first was anger. I initially felt angry, I was angry because this client had backed out of a deal that, to be honest, would be lucrative for both of us. Once I had stopped beating my desk with my bloody fist I realised that beneath all of that anger I was really feeling fear.

I was afraid my other clients would follow suit. I was afraid I was turning clients off with my emails, my enthusiasm for the details of projects. And I was afraid because I thought a client was thinking ill of me.

And that, I suppose, was the crux of the matter. One of my biggest fears since childhood is that people might not like me.

I know, it is perfectly reasonable for me to expect everyone to like me.

But seriously, up until quite recently, I have consistently sought approval from everyone I know and work with, and if that approval is not immediately obvious, I have felt fear.

The fear of being disliked.

And this was affecting my happiness levels somewhat, when I would meet people who were indifferent to me, who were not falling over themselves to make friends, or who showed even mild hostlilty.

But I have been examining this block to my happiness, and I have found a new method that helps me manage my emotions. Within ten minutes, this method helped me effectively forget I had missed out on over $10,000. After those ten minutes I was back on the line, talking to clients, setting up more deals.

I will begin explaining this next post, when I talk about how to manage your emotions so that you allow more happiness into your life. We will take it step by step, and spread it out over a few posts.

So until then, stay happy...

Fear

2009-03-02T21:40:00.000-08:00

Fear is one of the most common emotions. This does not mean that there are millions of us running around screaming in terror all day. Instead, when we talk about fear, we are talking about an emotion that has many shades.

Fear means anxiety. It means worry. It means stress. When our race was still in the early stages of development, it didn't mean these things. Back then fear meant fear, fight or flight, kill the sabre tooth or die.

Bt as we grew so did our potential for worry. We began to feel anxiety about our young ones, our relationships. And as the world grew smaller, our fears grew more complex...

Take public speaking. If you fear doing this you are only one step away from the fear of the mammoth. A few more steps along the line and we have that small but niggling thing we call fear of failure.

So how do we deal with fear? What can we do to ensure that we don't allow fear, as in anxiety and worry, to rule our lives?

In the next post, we will explore this further...

Expectations

2009-02-28T22:06:00.000-08:00

There is a lot of literature out there on emotions and how we can be in control of them. Mastering our emotions allows us to manage challenges in our life.

Whenever we face a challenge the way we deal with it is entirely down to how we view challenge and change. If we see challenge and change as threats, then we will generate a set of emotions that will bring on paralysis.

If, however, we view challenge and change as exciting experiences, then our accompanying emotions will make us move and take action.

Which brings me to expectations. A great distinction I have learnt recently is that, if we think about something that we would like to happen, or need to happen, and we hope that it takes place, there are generally two outcomes we can see: it will, or it won't.

However, if we expect that thing to happen, our mind and our heart will only see one outcome, and it will be the outcome we want. If we expect with all our emotional and intelllectual might, something powerful happens.

Example: you want to run your own business. You hope it takes off, and you just hope. One of two outcomes, by default, occur. It might take off, it might not...

However, if you expect the business to take off and entertain no other outcome, what do you think will happen?

Fulfillment

2009-02-27T22:08:00.000-08:00

Okay, this one is pretty much off the top of my head...

When I was a boy, I remember doing a magic trick. This was the old 'tearing up a newspaper and bringing it back' trick, whereby you basically fold one newspaper inside the other, and then 'magic' the first one back. I was proud of it, had read about magic and was in love with it, and was about ten, I think.

The reason this event is etched in my brain indelibly is that I had an audience. My father's friends were visiting, and they enjoyed the trick. I even received some genuine applause.

And I enjoyed that applause. I felt wonderful.

So why didn't I become a magician?

I have been thinking about this. My life now is far from miserable and unfulfilled by the way, I am reasonably content (if not a little too busy). However, every now and then I think about this moment and wonder if it actually meant anything.

The WHP is an attempt to help people find happiness through fulfillment, but every now and then I wonder if I have missed a three or four or ten per cent worth of fulfillment in my life, due to the choices I have made.

Should I have said yes to that offer? Should I have taken that job? Would my life had changed for the better if I had not followed that advice?

Should I have become a magician?

I am of a certain age now, and seem to be reflecting on things almost unwillingly. And I know this means I am human. The questions are coming thick and fast. I am happy, I know this. But, and this question is now being asked in the context of the WHP, could I be even happier?

Can we reach a happiness limit?

Are you as happy as you could ever be?

Comments, please...

And if you want instructions for that trick, get in touch.

How to stay positive...

2009-02-24T22:08:00.000-08:00

This is possibly one of the most important qualities one can cultivate. Like many of us, I am sure, I can think of a time when it has been difficult to stay positive. In fact, something happened just yesterday.

I was pulling my car out of the drive, which is quite narrow and therefore requires a little skill and patience to negotiate. So I’m taking it slow.

Suddenly this huge 4x4 comes up the hill and blares its horn at me, as if to say that I am hogging the road, just because I am inching, carefully, out of my drive.

Up to that point I had been very positive and relaxed that day (okay it was only 8am, but still). In fact, I had promised myself that I would stay calm, and not become stressed. The Worldwide Happiness Project was at the forefront of my mind, and I was pretty content overall.
However, this 4x4 comes storming out of nowhere and...

When this kind of thing happens, your entire perspective on the day can be affected. You can get to work and feel peeved at the slightest annoyance, just because someone has got to you earlier.

Staying positive in these situations is crucial. Banning negative thoughts from your mind is absolutely essential here. If one comes up, let it just occur, and give it no added significance. It is just a thought, you are human.

Let it be.

Let yourself be. Cultivate a feeling of simplicity. When the world throws events at you that threaten to complicate matters and darken your day, make every effort to get back to yourself.
Breathe, and concentrate on your breath entering and leaving your body. Remember that you are here today, that you were yesterday, and that there is every likelihood you will be here tomorrow. You will not change, this living, breathing thing that is you will remain.

Remember, above all, that there are some things that you cannot change. And you should be thankful for this. Because this means that you had no part to play in their existence.
For everything that threatens, bothers, and cajoles then, just say:

This too shall pass...

So, the 4x4 moved on. It was an event I could not predict, an action I had no part in. It passed.
If we need hope in this world, when things go wrong, we need to bear in mind that negativity will grow, and it will enter our lives. However, unless we force it to, it will not stay.

So cultivate this awareness of yourself. Promote happy thoughts. And, for your own sake, just remember that nothing is permanent, and that includes the feelings you get when some huge 4x4 sneaks up on you at eight in the morning.

Until next time, stay happy.

How to hire a freelance writer

2009-02-22T04:54:00.000-08:00

If you have a new website that requires some content to bring in the clients, you may well need a writer to do the job for you. If you have to put together a press release for your company, a freelance writer is one option you could consider. There are literally thousands of professional freelance writers out there who can do the work to a high standard. The question is: how do you hire a freelance writer?

When considering hiring a writer, there are a few things you need to think about. Some planning and preparation is advised, if only because there are so many writers out there, of varying abilities and with a plethora of skills. If you are not sure of what your project entails, you could well be swamped with applications that will do nothing for your project.

Before you actually get out there and start asking for writers, you first need to determine what it is you want written. While this might seem quite a simple thing to accomplish, it rarely is.
For example, if you want an article written, how long do you want it to be? What tone do you want? Are you expecting the freelance writer to market the article and you? Are you going to have exclusive rights to the article?

Do you want a press release? Who is going to organise the distribution? What tone do you want the release to carry?

Other concerns before you even try to start sourcing a writer include issues such as:
· Do you want to see examples of previous work?
· Do you have a clear budget?
· Do you have a clear idea of when you need the work for?
· Does the work fit into an overall part of your business plan, or are you just going to keep commissioning work until you figure out what you are aiming to do with it?
Once you have some idea of where you want to go with the project, then you can start sourcing professionals. There are a number of websites out there that offer contact with writers. One strong example is http://wwwifreelance.com/

This site has a large number of professionals attached to it, and is appreciated by the industry itself.

However, there are some sites out there that are doing nothing more than allowing you to contact people who offer dirt cheap rates. You will know these when you see them. The general rule of thumb is if the writer seems cheap, then the work may well be cheap too.
Essentially, the clearer you are on what you want from your project, the easier it will be to find a quality writer for your project.

Goal Setting - is your goal setting aspirational?

2009-02-20T22:44:00.000-08:00

And here is something from Seth that has a lot to say about goals and aspirations. If you run a company of any size, read this...

http://www.typepad.com/services/trackback/6a00d83451b31569e2011278dc4de928a4

Happiness and Circumstances

2009-02-20T12:58:00.001-08:00

Hi,

Not much time today, but I don't ever leave you with nothing. Take a look at this link. It all leads into the WHP:

http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/amy-tan-quote-about-circumstances/

Will be back soon, until then...

Happiness - does smiling help?

2009-02-19T15:33:00.000-08:00

So here we go...

A certain famous self-help guru believes strongly in the physicality of mood. To break that down for you a little, the more physical we are, the more we move, the better we feel.

This makes perfect sense to me. For example, have you ever said to anyone that if you sit down you feel tired? Ever been in a situation where the adrenaline has been pumping and then you sit down and find you just don't want to get up?

That is the physical aspect of mood inducement.

So when I see a report like the one in my last post, I get excited. I know that if we smile we feel happy. What I don't know is why.

The Worldwide Happiness Project is aimed at finding out how to get people more fulfilled with their lives. Fulfillment, I believe, brings happiness. Yet, a smile makes us happy? I don't think so.

I'm guessing we think it does because we have been conditioned to feel happy when we smile. The simple act of moving our muscles in our faces makes us 'feel' happy.

Or does it?

I challenge that it doesn't. And that is why I was excited to stumble upon that report. Like the people towards the end of the report who discussed how awful forced smiling is (just try doing it for a photo you don't want to be in), I know that smiling has absolutely nothing to do with fulfillment, which as I have explained, is what makes me happy.

So we need to get fulfilled. And we need to get away from society's rules about happiness.

Because, as we all know, those who follow rules tend to get miserable pretty quick.

One step closer then, towards understanding how to be happy...

(And I'm serious, smiling is not the answer).

How to be happy.

2009-02-17T23:35:00.001-08:00

Okay, here is the news:

http://www.theage.com.au/opinion/dont-worry-be-happy-or-at-least-fake-it-20090216-8999.html?page=-1

Check the link out class, we will review next post.

2009-02-17T22:31:00.000-08:00

Check this out:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=65Chy5kPQ-Y

I am building ideas for the Worldwide Happiness Project and this is a great way to start proceedings. Having something funny to look at certainly brings me closer to happiness.

See you soon...

How to find happiness

2009-02-16T22:23:00.000-08:00

Thinking about Tom Cruise (and we all have to sometime, whether we want to or not), the guy looks happy. Really happy.

With millions in the bank, and more fame than the rest of us could even begin to contemplate, Mr Cruise is a major success story for our times. The guy has done it. And what's more, he's happy.

How do we know he is happy? well, the signs are all there. And when I use the word 'signs', I mean his public behaviour, which as far as I can tell, has been nigh on impeccable since day one.

However, if we focus our minds on another movie star, say Clark Gable, whose life was typified by a painful lack of fulfillment, we can begin to piece together the clues that can help us understand how to find our own personal happiness.

What is happiness? Well if Gable had been happy he would have surely spent more time sober, for example. But if you read the linked article above, you will see that Clark simply did not know what he wanted from life.

He did not know how to find happiness.

You see, happiness only comes when you find fulfillment.

If we do not know what fulfillment feels like, we will not feel happy.

Test yourself. This is how you can answer the question: 'what is happiness?' Cast your mind back to a moment, or moments, when you have felt fulfilled. These can be recent events or times, or something years ago.

Let me give you an example. Many moons ago, there was one night when I really felt fulfilled. This was the night I won a major short fiction contest. I had dreams of being a great writer (this was before I had children and so on, although they fulfill me greatly, but more on that in a later post) and that night I felt like I had become finally fulfilled.

So I could answer the question what is happiness?

Because I was feeling it. Right there.

This post is already getting too long, but that is because we are setting something up. I want to come back to happiness again. But I want you to get in touch.

Tell me about a time you were fulfilled. If you read this post get in touch. When have you been fulfilled? And did it make you happy?

Because there is the acid test. Happiness comes from fulfillment.

I want to explore happiness. This is my most important post ever because I want to bring happiness back to the fore. I see so many unhappy people, and I think I have just found out a way to make them happy...

I will develop my thinking on this, and your thoughts will help...

So until next time, be happy...

Respect

2009-02-16T10:12:00.000-08:00

Just read an amazing post over at http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/

Here it is, it is all about respect:

http://www.selfhelpdaily.com/have-you-looked-into-your-relationship-mirror-lately/

Setting Goals

2009-02-15T22:19:00.000-08:00

Last night I was sitting down watching television and, right in the middle of watching some action packed blockbuster I started to think about the rest of the world. I began to set goals because I was watching a movie.

I thought about what everyone else was doing right there and then. Everyone else in the entire world. This is an interesting game, and if you play it for long enough, it can be quite mind boggling. I visualised old friends and what their lives may be like. Their families and their homes. I saw my teachers, my old work colleagues from my first few jobs. I even took the game to 'Level Three' and fished out people that I had seen at coach stations, in airports. And I thought about these people and their goals.

Then I thought about this statistic I read a little while ago. I can't remember the actual figure, but this statistic was a percentage. And if you know the exact figure, let me know.

This figure represented the number of people who felt depressed on a Sunday night. The people were depressed because it was Sunday night, and they had to go to work the next day.

Last night I was watching Tom Cruise save the world in Mission Impossible 3. It was a good movie, and a perfect piece of escapism. The trouble is, so many of us still need this escapism. I can read all of the self-help books in the world, view all of the sites, and still need to believe that there is a better thing than 'normal life'.

I am still trying hard, and I am not knocking normality, or the people who work hard in average jobs to feed their family, but if I wasn't striving to better myself and to achive the goals I have set, I would find it hard to stay positive. And because you are reading this post, I'm guessing you feel the same way.

The Sunday night blues are all about knowing that you have to go to work tomorrow. I still have to go to work in a real job, but you know what? Someday I won't.

And it actually helps me to feel a little down and in need of escapism on a Sunday, because it makes me realise that I have to keep maintaining my focus and reaching for my goals.

So next Sunday, I shall be giving into it, that down feeling. I shall be reaching for my blockbuster and dropping out of reality for just a little while. And I shall be doing this because it creates a tremendous sense of urgency as regards my goals.

As Tyler Durden said (probably) - 'We are all slowly dying, one minute at a time...'

Enough said?

The Entrepreneur Spirit - Have You Got It?

2009-02-14T08:30:00.000-08:00

There are a whole bunch of big companies out there that are making millions doing what they do well. Look at the big firms like McDonalds and Disney, or some of the great computer companies that make software and hardware, and they have the niche, they pretty much have their share of the market.

Entrepreneurs, however, have an extra edge over these big guys. Entrepreneurs are entrepreneurs because they have made the choice to go out there and make money for themselves, to not have a capped salary, and to make all of the decisions that affect their working life. So they have the edge. In fact, it can be argued that your entrepreneur business has more of an edge than Microsoft is currently enjoying.

You are more competitive for a start. Microsoft is a beast; it knows what it does and does it a million times over every day. However, you can bet the top guys in Microsoft don’t have the thrill that you have when you bag a new customer. They don’t understand the excitement involved in finding someone who loves what you do so much that they will talk to you about it on the telephone or via email, and personally request that you work with them. The top guys at Microsoft don’t have a clue anymore about what it feels like to create a proposal that can bring you direct profit, can drive hundreds of dollars your way by breakfast.

Entrepreneurs have the entrepreneurial spirit. They have the edge when it comes to driving their lives. You can’t tell a good entrepreneur what to do with their life because they have already started. So while the head of Microsoft might have more dollars in the bank, he’s still working. You, on the other hand, are following your dream.

How do you keep the dream alive though? What can you put in place that will ensure that your work stops becoming work, and instead becomes a magnificent passion that drives you on to amazing experiences?

Well, first of all, you have to get out more. Honestly. This means switching on to the world that you are having a direct impact upon. This is the world of business. You may not know much about what your customers do, and this is a problem. Grab a couple of business papers and magazines, or research your companies on the Web, and get involved. The thrill you will feel when you know that you are helping your clients carve themselves a place in that marketplace is irreplaceable. Get interested in what your clients do, and you will feel a part of it. This will transform your already exciting work life. Don’t forget that you got into this business so that you could control your life. So get out there, and get knowledgeable. Get control.

Another way to keep that spirit alive is to not get stale. This means looking at all of the data that your business produces, whether it is a spreadsheet that shows how much turnover you are generating, or even the number of phone calls you make, and look for patterns. If something is not happening as often as it should, get out there and make it happen. If one of your clients isn’t asking for as much work as they normally do, get out there and find out why. You won’t know unless you look at your figures.

Always add value. This is absolutely vital in business. If you can offer something that brings measurable value to a client’s business, and then some, you will feel that you are doing something amazing. And by doing something amazing, your job will become more and more like a calling. If you don’t tap into the thrill of making your customers deliriously happy with what you do, then you will never feel that you have truly chosen to do something that you love. Learn more about what your customers want, and then give it to them ten-fold. If you feel that they want a discount now and then, offer them the discount, and then an extra couple of per cent. This will not kill your bottom line, and it can only make your client want to use you again and again. Adding value will make you feel good and valuable, something that you most definitely did not feel in your old job.

You started this for a reason. This means that you had goals and aims. Drag those written goals out of the drawer, dust them off, and take a good, hard look at them all over again. Re-align yourself to the destiny you imagined way back at the start. Remember, you are an entrepreneur, because you have started an entrepreneur business.
Don’t lose the entrepreneur edge.

Why Lidl is great

2008-07-06T07:52:00.000-07:00

Lidl is great because when you get there you quickly realise that there is absolutely no choice whatsoever. You buy pretty much what the guys in the boardroom want you to buy.

It has just won a Which consumer award for best value for money, and you know what? In this time of near recession, the best thing about Lidl is that the bill is pretty much half of what you can expect to pay in Tescos et al.

And when you think about Tesco suing people for making critical comments about them in the media (a journalist commented on their tax practices, and is now facing a million dollar lawsuit), and Sainsbury's messing up their website, Lidl comes off pretty well.

So I propose a new movement. I want everyone who hasn't tried Lidl to try it at least once. Hit the big guys where it hurts. And when your snobby friends talk about how M&S are the best etc. ask them to try Lidl fruit. It is real fruit, and half the price of M&S fruit.

So tell everyone, go to Lidl. It is the best. Which magazine think so, and it is about time value for money was seen as a good thing.

How to get your baby or toddler to sleep.

2008-07-05T22:27:00.000-07:00

There are hundreds of books out there at the moment that promise to help you manage your child's sleeping. There are e-books too, as well as e-courses. You can even buy videos that show you how to do it.

Because sleep deprivation affects behaviour (both yours and your child's) and heightens stress levels generally, if you don't get it right, your family life will be affected. The problem is that every child is different, right?

Wrong. There is one simple method to sleep train your child that works. And, if used early enough (while the child is under two years of age) it is guaranteed to solve poor sleep habits for good.

And here it is.

All you have to do is leave them to cry.

Put them down to sleep calmly and softly after reading them a story. Then walk calmly out of the room. If they are too young to get out of bed then wait two minutes (while they cry) and then go into the room and soothe them. Don't pick them up. Soothe them and then leave the room.

Then:

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat. At two/five minute intervals.

Until they fall asleep. They will stop crying eventually and go to sleep. Trust me.

If they are a bit older, and can get out of their bed, pick them up, and gently tell them that they are going to sleep. Then return them to bed. When they get out again, just say 'night, night', and then return them to bed. When they get out again, say nothing, and return them to bed. Then:

Repeat. Repeat. Repeat.

Until they fall asleep. And they will fall asleep. Because children do go to sleep, especially when they realise that their parents aren't stressed about it, that they aren't angry at their child, that all they want as parents is for their child to just go to sleep like a normal human being.

If you stay calm and just expect sleep to happen, following the steps above, your child will learn to sleep. This is a guaranteed method.

(A caveat. Never, ever, leave a child to cry for longer than ten minutes. Ever. You know it is wrong, so don't do it.)

How to Survive your LSAT

2008-07-05T04:13:00.001-07:00

How to survive your LSAT Part One – Logical Reasoning Section

Much dreaded by aspiring lawyers, the LSAT strikes fear into their hearts simply because it is like nothing else they have had to face before. The questions in the LSAT aren’t like the test questions they faced at school, and there is a definite score you have to get in the LSAT before the law school clerks even bother to look at your file.

But it doesn’t have to be this way. With careful planning and a cool head, you can give yourself every chance to pass the LSAT. Sure, there is no real knowledge you can cram on before the day of the test, but the style of the questions is definitely something you can prepare for.

The reason the LSAT is so heavily dependent on logic (two logical reasoning sections as opposed to, say, one for analytical reasoning) as a questioning framework is because legal minds are purely logical. They don’t get emotional, they don’t worry over small details, it’s all about cause and effect, facts and outcomes. There are two logical reasoning sections in the LSAT, with 24-26 items, and in these sections the LSAT will ask you to find errors in logic. There may even be a third logical reasoning section as an experimental question.

So the very best thing you can do to prepare for the logical reasoning sections of your LSAT exam is become an expert at solving logical problems.

Aim to:
Take a course in logical reasoning. This is essential. If you don’t do this, you will fail. Learn about the major fallacies. Then, try out some test LSAT logical reasoning questions on the Internet or in a textbook.
Keep taking sample LSAT papers and get used to reading the logic questions so you know what they are asking you to do. A major frustration for candidates is failing by not answering the actual question..
Remember one crucial thing; only respond to the facts in the LSAT logic questions. Do not allow your own ideas and preconceptions to come into things.

Logical reasoning in the LSAT is challenging but not impossible. Like all skills, the more you practise, the more proficient you will get. And if you want any chance at all when it comes to dealing with what is potentially over half of the LSAT paper, you have to be able to ‘do logic’ like clockwork.

How to exercise without purchasing a gym membership

2008-05-20T14:08:00.000-07:00

How to exercise without purchasing a gym membership.

You’re in your thirties, which means growing up and taking on some kind of responsibility for your life and perhaps the life of those around you. Chances are you’re busy, maybe own a Blackberry that doesn’t leave you alone, or maybe you have children and you’ve made the decision to be a good parent and consequently spend the majority of your time at home with them.

Or maybe that great cosmic ache has set in. You can’t climb the stairs as quickly as you used to. When you’re watching television you really are totally lost without the remote. Maybe stress is marking its claim on you, it’s one of the most common killers, and affects us all at some point.

But you’re in your thirties, which does mean that you have some responsibilities in life – some thirtysomethings believe they don’t, but they are few and far between, and generally just have to get off the aeroplane, stop pretending they’re some romantic, Hemingway like figure, and choose somewhere to live – and consequently precious little time.

So there’s the equation: need to get healthy/no time for the gym. Doesn’t work, right? You can’t make more hours magically appear. You can’t afford the time to travel to the gym, do all that small talk and work on the weights for an hour and then come home and make the dinner, read the kids a story, spend time with your partner etc.

Like with most problems, looking at things from a different angle provides the solution. The whole fitness industry (for simple, financial reasons) promotes the view that if you’re not standing in a room with at least ten different exercise machines you’re not exercising properly, and therefore you won’t get fit, and you’re going to die.

This is, of course, very wrong. It is possible to integrate a positive exercise routine into your daily life, even if your daily life includes twenty minute lunch breaks and boxes that contain complete meals for two. It is important however, to think on a basic level, look for the everyday activities your life provides you with, and take it from there.

For example, if you are lucky enough to own a garden, tend it. All the basic gardening activities, such as mowing the lawn, weeding, or just simple maintenance, promote good health. You’re out in the open air, and you’re stretching and bending, its good natural exercise for the human body.

Another good way to exercise is to do the housework, actually clean your house like a professional would. This includes dusting and polishing, dragging beds away from the wall to get rid of the cobwebs, and cleaning the stairs. Again, all of these are quite strenuous activities.

Houses have stairs, and you’re probably aware – if you’ve ever been inside a gym – that step machines are a popular and effective form of physical exercise. You’ve got upwards of twelve steps in your home to use for exercise, and it gets more strenuous the higher you go. Simple exercise that does the job and it’s free.

If you have children, spend time with them by playing their games. The younger they are, the more they tire you out, and while you are rolling about in the mud with your three year old, just remember that you’re pretty much making their day at the same time.

Take a run. Go for a brisk walk. Play sports with friends and relatives in the park. Again, same benefits as gardening, and at little to no cost. Studies show, by the way, that football and rounders are the simplest and most beneficial sports to play in the park, because they both involve running and carry an inbuilt motivation to win, and therefore they make you work hard.

So far equipment hasn’t been mentioned. If you have the money and a burning desire to buy exercise equipment, start nice and simple and buy an exercise mat. You need one to protect your carpet and your body, and they are versatile due to the range of exercises you can do on them. Some mats come with suggested exercises too. Always remember to warm up and cool down when exercising at home, and wear the same equipment that you bought for the gym, before you cancelled your membership. Sports equipment is designed to protect the body, so use it.

If you feel an intense desire to lift weights, there are plenty of weights around the home. You can start small with some cans of food, and then move onto heavier things like books, or boxes of books if you’re going for the burn.

Follow through on any of the above suggestions, and when I say follow through I mean stick to them, and you’ll get your recommended thirty minutes a day worth of exercise. Keep doing this throughout your thirties and you’ll have achieved a number of things. Firstly, you’ll have saved thousands in gym fees. Secondly, you’ll have maintained a clean and tidy house. And finally, you’ll have kept your thirtysomething body ticking over, and maintained a sensible level of health that will stand you in good stead for the years ahead.

That happens to be true. Build up your defences by exercising. Don’t let your stressful, busy, thirtysomething life stress you out and wear you down. You don’t even need to join a gym. Cavemen didn’t have gyms. Roman soldiers didn’t have membership at Gold’s. The message is clear, there’s no excuse. Don’t get sick. Get fit.

How men can stay healthy in their thirties.

2008-05-06T14:12:00.000-07:00

So you've turned thirty.
You used to be twentysomething, now you're thirty. You used to be able to stay out all night and party with the best of them but now you prefer the odd night at home. It's called life, and it bites us all.
You see them out on the streets, these thirtysomethings. They're the ones who are running when it's late at night, fitting in exercise because they know they have to. In the restaurants and bars, they're the ones who order salad and eat fruit. they order orange juice instead of alcohol, and watch the clock because the babysitters got to go home early. This is because they're thirtysomething, and they've heard the slow creak of the wheels of time really clearly, and felt the ache of bones growing older.
You can make changes now, however, before it really is too late. Because it's true that the diseases that kill you take hold in your thirties.
At the risk of sounding slightly morbid, if you're thirty or above, you are getting older, right now. Your brain long ago gave up on growing, so any attempts to expand the mind will now do nothing more than build up defences against further deterioration. With your body, however, there is still time. The thirties are the crucial decade as regards your health. get it right now, and there is every chance that you'll enjoy a good long life.
Basically, human survival is all about diet and exercise, always has been, always will be. And because exercise is something that most people can start changes in reasonably quickly, we'll look at that first.
If you can afford to join a gym, do. And then stay joined for at least a year. this is absolutely crucial. Actually doing anything at the gym is less important than staying on the establishment's books, and attending regularly. The drop-out rate for gym membership is huge, almost as huge as the joining rate in January. Join a gym, go, and keep going until you break a limb or something. Go and drink juice while you watch everyone else, whatever, just keep going.
But if you can't hack the gym, take the money you would have spent on that and throw it into one of two physical sports that are guaranteed to improve your health, boxing or martial arts. Both offer motivation (in the form of target-setting and achievement) that is built in and beyond your control. And both offer stress relief. Stress is a killer, it kills men every day. Martial arts and boxing encourage controlled release of aggression, and sometimes good old-fashioned controlled violence (think Fight Club, then take two steps back from that, and you're there). In addition to this you have grades in martial arts, and the chance to win fights in boxing. There really is nothing better for the thirtysomething male to get involved in if they want to build up their fitness.
As regards diet, eat fish. Then eat some more fish, and to finish off eat another serving offish. sardines are good, eat those as much as you can. If you're eating sandwiches, eat sandwiches that contain fish, not processed meat. then eat your fruit, lots of it. I know a guy who doesn't eat anything but fruit until six pm every day. He's a martial arts champion, and as fit as you could possibly be for a thritysomething.
I'm a thirtysomething male, and my bones aren't what they used to be. But I'm on a quest, a mission to stay healthy and to stay alive. Every man at this age has to start thinking of their future. Later posts will fill you in on my mission and how it's going.